This is a real personals ad. No, I'm not kidding. - Life is strange... — LiveJournal

09:38 pm - This is a real personals ad. No, I'm not kidding.

First, let's read the ad in its entirety:

Beautiful Erosian Disabled woman looking for the Soul mate - 32

I had a fatal car accident three years ago, but I've overcame the obstacles.
Now I am able to fully function although I have a disability.

Sincerely I want to find my true mate who can mutually depend on and encourage each other.

I am beautiful, well educated, of course I have a lot to offer.
I want Asian or white men who have the christian value but doesn't have to be religious.

Now let's deconstruct it, line by line, starting with the title:

Beautiful Erosian Disabled woman looking for the Soul mate

1. I assume she means that she is 'Eurasian' (i.e. half of European/Caucasian descent and half of Asian descent)... but I certainly prefer that 'Erosian' means that she is fully descended from Eros, the god of physical love (i.e. sex). For a better definition, read the following (excerpted from here): In Greek mythology, Eros was a god who was in charge of passionate and physical love, as well as a fertility god. His name is the base of words such as erotic. His Roman equivalent was Amor ("love") or Cupid ("desire"). As Cupid, he was often accompanied by the Amoretti. Eros was associated with Aphrodite.

2. She is looking for "the Soul mate"—I guess this means she (a) believes that everyone has a soul mate, and (b) that there is exactly one of them to be found.

I had a fatal car accident three years ago, but I've overcame the obstacles.

Death is certainly quite an obstacle to get over. In fact, I've never known anyone who has... or even heard of anyone non-fictional who had.

Now I am able to fully function although I have a disability.

Either she has a disability or she doesn't, yes? If she can 'fully function,' then by definition she doesn't have a disability, right? What am I missing here?

Sincerely I want to find my true mate who can mutually depend on and encourage each other.

She wants to find "my true mate", notice that this construction implies that only one particular person will do. This is consistent with the single Soul mate concept she used earlier. And here she is adding some flesh to the definition of this Soul mate: "can mutually depend on and encourage each other"—this sounds like a workable arrangement, if and only if her one Soul mate can be found. And who is this "each other," anyway?

I am beautiful, well educated, of course I have a lot to offer.

The personals ad had no picture attached, and the poster didn't say that she'd send a picture to interested parties, whether or not they sent a picture to her. I guess we'll have to take her word for it that she's beautiful. She may indeed be well-educated in something, but this ad gives us no clue as to what she may be well-educated in. She may also have a lot to offer (but why "of course"?); we simply don't know, and have no basis on which to evaluate. Once again, we'll take her word regarding her own wondrousness.

I want Asian or white men who have the christian value but doesn't have to be religious

The first part is clear: she wants only people of Asian or European descent to reply... but what if her sole Soul mate isn't of those gene-lines? How can she be so sure?

The last part is my favorite: "have the christian value but doesn't have to be religious". Even ignoring the grammatical failings of the phrase, can it make sense? What is "the christian value", exactly. Which one, there are so many to pick from? Also, I've been told by religious Christian friends of mine that one can't truly have Christian values without being a religious Christian. They claim that performing the actions dictated by the values without having the values is form without substance, that without the strength of conviction that comes from belief, that avowedly-Christian values in non-religious people are too weak to withstand the trials encountered during one's life.

I hope you found my analysis amusing. This ad was certainly one of the worst-constructed apparently-sincere ads I've seen in my long habit of reading personals ads.

-(Cheers) generalist